Me and Alexander

Do you remember Alexander and his terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day?  It all started off when he went to bed with gum on his bedpost and woke up with gum in his hair!  I can relate to that lately.  Not literally, but figuratively as it has not been a good run of events for us as of late.

Chad got into a car accident a few weeks ago, and while he, thank god, walked away unscathed, the car was totalled.  Also, work has not been going well for me.  Enough said on that front because this is not the forum for such discussions, but suffice it to say that I feel like I’m at the bottom of my game this last month.  Teething is amongst us again with big gnarly fat molars invading the delicate gums of my very young, non-verbal, and consequently cranky children.  We also have many friends facing illnesses, worries, sadnesses and they have monumental struggles in front of them, in front of all of us.  Worry and concern grip me at my throat as thoughts of them wander in and out of my mind every day and night.  And, last night, we went into the basement to get some paper towels and I realized that the carpet was wet.  We spent last night moving things out of the basement and ripping up the wet carpet.  Sigh.  It has been a hard couple of weeks for us.  It seems unrelenting.  And I am exhausted.

And then something happened last night–a gift from an angel.

Grammy and Gana were over helping me get the girls ready for bed as Daddy was at a church meeting.  The girls had eaten their dinner, played played played, taken a bath and they were in their jammies winding down, getting ready for bed.  Grammy was in the rocking chair singing a lullaby and my head was resting on her knee as the girls were busily playing, reading books and gabbing gabbing away.  Then, out of nowhere, Tessa walked over to me, looked me square in the eye and said, “I love you”, paused, and planted a kiss on my lips.


If I didn’t have Grammy as a witness, I would not have believed it.  It was a GOOD KISS, too.  Not one of those open, curled lips, licking sort of kisses.  It was really good baby pecking kiss!  And nothing sounding like “I love you” has ever crossed Tessa or Nora’s lips.  Of course, there was no repeating that incident as we were instantly swept up into our books and blocks and the slide and the sippy cups and could not be bothered to say it again…

I love you.

It was at that instant in time, a moment out of nowhere, that I knew that I had been given a gift to empower me to turn around my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.  As these days are too fleeting and do not repeat themselves.  I cannot turn back time, I can only face what is in front of us.  We walked away from that accident.  This job allows me to buy a new car.  Out of sickness there is hope and peace.  The teething is almost over (I think we’re up to 16/20 or so now).  And, I don’t know what to say about the carpet.

But I do know that Tessa and Nora amaze me.  They inspire me.  They bring me hope with each and every new day.  I love you, too, Tessa.  I love you, too, Nora.