Grandpa, we know you’re dancing on the clouds above with Grandma in your arms. What dissertation software a joyous reunion that must be. You will be missed.
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A good-bye to Grandpa Bailey
My grandpa, Morris Everett Bailey, died this morning. Grandpa would have been 92 this April. He lived a good, long life in Nebraska as a husband, a farmer, a mason, a father, a grandpa and a great-grandpa.
My memories of my Grandpa are filled with jolly laughs, kisses sweet with chewing tobacco and a fiery spirit.
Morgana and I used to spend a couple of weeks in the summer with Grandma and Grandpa and during the year we would see them what seemed like about once a month. During our visits Gana and I would kick around the old dirt roads of Schuyler.
We’d help light the fire in the trash can to burn the trash away so only flickering ashes were left. We’d visit the neighbors and play with their kittens and dogs and poke at the minnows in Norvall’s broken down ice chest. We’d wander along the cornfields that edged our grandparents property.
We’d play kickball in the basement of their house. We’d help pick sour cherries from the cherry trees. We’d skip down to the local filling station and buy candy bars. We’d ride on three-wheelers with our cousins. We’d pull dusty bikes out of the basement and ride around the quiet streets of Schuyler.
We’d go swimming.
We’d have “dinner” for lunch and “supper” for dinner. We’d go down to the dimestore and play with the plastic toys and stop by Don’s Bakery on the way home. We’d get stuck waiting for the train to go by on the way home.
We’d play with the plastic fruit and gingerly touch the coveted “roadrunner” broaches Grandma kept in their bedroom. We’d look in the makeup mirror that would magnify in exponential measure any blemish or mark you had on your face. We’d play Uno. Grandpa’s hearing aid was constantly beeping. He would yell “Helloooo!” into the phone, followed by the high pitched chirping of the hearing aids he always wore. Once he fell asleep with the TV remote in his hand and just kept turning the channels and turning the channels in his sleep. It was hilarious. During the fourth of July we’d go down to the park and watch the fireworks and eat ice cream and drink pop.
At Thanksgiving Grandma would pull out a table so long that it stretched nearly the entire length of their living room and we’d scoop up handfuls of nuts and mints until we were sick (literally). During holidays and birthdays we’d unwrap presents and have cake or pie. Grandma always said she’d put bricks on our heads to keep us from growing up too fast. I wonder what Grandma and Grandpa would say about my girls now…
I always remember crying when we’d leave to go home. It was fun there. And we loved our grandparents.
Schuyler, Nebraska is a different place now. New families have moved in and the old farmers have died off and many of their kids and grandkids have left for bigger towns. The dimestore and Don’s Bakery are gone. Grandpa’s house provides a roof for another family, another generation. But for me Schuyler will always be the middle-America town that I used to love—a place of youth and innocence and fun during our summers as kids.
After Grandma died we’d take trips to the cemetery to see her tombstone. On Saturday, Grandpa will be laid to rest next to her. Finally they will be reunited after 12 long years apart. I’m happy for their reunion. As grandparents they could not have loved us more. We’ll miss you, Grandpa Bailey. Love you.
A little one on one time…
In the seven (plus) months we’ve been with the girls, it is rare that I’ve only been with one girl at a time. When they were first born I would take one out for a bit–like to Target or church–while someone watched the other, and then I would alternate and take the other somewhere else. But they were so little then and now that their little personalities are really blossoming, it’s a whole new ballgame.
A couple of weeks ago something funny happened. When I put the girls down for a nap on Saturday Nora wasn’t tired and just played in her crib grabbing her toes and giggling. After about 20 minutes I scooped her up and sat down in the big rocking chair in the nursery with a couple of toys. We just hung out with a stuffed monkey and a couple of books while Tessa slept. It was so neat. Normally, it is tough when both babies don’t nap at the same time but this was such a unique opportunity to bond with Nora that I couldn’t pass it up. It was great.
Later that afternoon–you guessed it–Nora was zonked and Tess was gearing to play. It was cool outside but partly sunny and so we spread out a blanket in the backyard and just played and played. It was great Tessa time. Luckily, I got some pictures.
Such sweet babies. And such a treat to get to know each one better, separate from her sister.
I have always maintained that I would treat the girls as individuals–like sisters. I imagine that it is difficult as a twin to break apart from your “twinness” from the “unit” that is the two of you. It’s even more difficult as a parent of twins to find the time, the energy to know my girls separately as I have come to know them together. But it is so so important. It was a great lesson to learn that weekend. And such a sweet treat.
A day in the park…
Framable…
We take hundreds of pictures of the girls. The beautiful thing about a digital camera is you can take so many pictures and pick and choose what you want to print (or post). It’s terrific. There are so many pictures that it’s hard to choose what to keep and what to cut.
For example, keep:
Cut:
All in all, we have some great shots. These are a few worth framing:
Baby Love…
Tessa and her rattle…
Tess stands tall…
A Very Happy 7 Months
Chad and I give thanks every day for the happy healthy sweet babies with which we have been blessed.
Nora (BIG eyes):
We acknowledge our fortune and happiness each and every moment we are with the girls.
Tessa (fitting into 12 month clothing already):
The last seven months have undoubtedly been the best of our lives together. At a time when we have friends who are saying good-bye to their family members in the final stages of their lives, we look to the bright future with our girls with hope and happiness and joy.
Daddy and Nora:
And thankfulness.
Mommy and Tess:
A tribute to Pumpy…
Yesterday was a big day for me. I would say “us” but this is really a selfish post. It’s about me. My pumping, my milk, the sacrifice of my time, my energy, my body. Yesterday I returned Pumpy, my breastpump, to my lactation consultant. It was possibly the second greatest moment of my life (the first, of course, being the girls). I’m done. My last pump was last Thursday and now I’m done. Hallelujah.
The girls will be seven months tomorrow. It’s been an incredible journey so far–packed with meals of sweet milk and kisses, baby food, endless diaper changings, outgrowing newborn clothes and playing Playing PLAYING all the time. Of all of the challenges that I’ve faced as a new mother of twins–more than the sleep-deprivation, more than the simultaneous crying, more than the separation of going back to work–I steadfastly maintain that breastfeeding is at the top of the list. Breastfeeding is a constant battle for my time, energy and the body I so desperately want back.
As I look back on the last seven months I wonder how on earth did I make it this long and why? The “why” is the easier question as it is difficult to challenge the numerable benefits of breastfeeding. There is a lot of research that shows that breastfed babies may be healthier and smarter babies than their formula-fed counterparts. Much of this research may be debatable–as I, for one, was a total formula-fed baby and seemed to be a well-adjusted, healthy, intelligent person. But I have always felt like I should try to breastfeed my girls so that they will have the best possible start to life. While I was committed in my mind to making this happen, the reality of breastfeeding two babies is that you need some help. Making it seven months has not come without trials and obstacles. So, if you are in need of a few tips, this is how I have made it this far.
1. Get a “hands-free” nursing bra. Pumping would not be happening without my Easy Expression Bustier from mommygear.com. You do not have to hold the cups so it leaves you hands free to read a book, take a drink of water, flip channels on the TV, write email messages. Whatever! I love this thing.
2. Get multiple pump parts. Target has them cheap. I got enough parts to last all day at work so when I finished I would throw the parts in a plastic bag and then toss them in the dishwasher when I got home. This saved me from either hand-washing them at work (gross) or doing the microwave thing. Let’s get real–this process already takes a long time, why waste more time cleaning at work when you can get extra parts for a few bucks.
3. Find a lactation consultant that works with you, who supports you, who understands and helps you. If you can’t find a lactation consultant that you like, find a friend who understands, who sympathizes, who has been there before. Breastfeeding can be tough and you need to find encouragement and support no matter whether you decide to breastfeed or not. If you can’t find a friend like this–call me.
4. Get a kitchen timer that counts down. My mom thought of this and it was great to just set the timer and forget about it until it beeped. I really loved this idea.
5. Join a lactation support group. I thought this was a good idea for moms who needed some guidance and support. My biggest problem with it was that there were mothers at my group with teeny tiny babies who really should be cuddled up on their couches at home and kangerooing with their babies and NOT at some hospital on a hard chair trying to get a baby to latch on at some random hour of the day. I think kangerooing with your baby is the best way to establish good nursing practices.
6. Befriend you pump. Give it a name. My pump is named “Pumpy.” We have a love/hate relationship. Pumpy gets a lot of time and priority in my life but that is because I have decided to do this. I don’t have to do this. I can let it go at any time. But I decided to make Pumpy a priority and until I decided to stop I did not begrudge Pumpy and the hours of attention she took from me everyday (and night and day and night and day and night–you get the picture).
7. Relax. It is physically demanding to give birth. Top that off with a little sleep deprivation, crying (the babies and ME) and worrying and things can get difficult quickly. I always need to remind myself to just stop and just reflect on the girls and remember what is really important in life. My girls.
Finally, and most importantly, I wanted to thank those who have supported me on this endeavor. It has been difficult but it was so important to me and I couldn’t have done it without the support and the extra hands to watch the girls when I pumped and pumped and pumped. Just a few…
Amanda, I could not have done it without your support–so many of these helpful tips came from you. You inspired me with your strength and courage and all the obstacles you faced when pumping. Everytime I thought about giving up–I thought of you and I kept going. You gave me great ideas and suggestions on how to really make this work for me. Thank you for your guidance. I leaned on you during some of the more difficult times of this endeavor and you were always so encouraging and supportive no matter what decision I made. Thank you.
Mom, you are my rock and my strength. You have given so much of your time and energy to making this work for us. Thank you for taking over when we needed a break. Thank you Thank you Thank you.
Jennifer. Jennifer, also a mother of newborn twin girls, came up to me at my first lactation group meeting–right before I lost it–and inspired me with her wisdom and love. Thank you for your support, your words, your encouragement. Wow.
Chad. What can I say? I love you. Thank you for taking control when I needed to pump and pump and pump. I’m glad it’s over now so let’s get some sleep.
Pumpy. Nursing was too difficult with both babies past about three months (the teething started early!) and so this would have never happened without you. I resented you for the time, the pain, the energy that was sapped from my already worn and tired body. But, I loved you for what you allowed me to give to my babies. This was so important to me and we made it happen. Thank you. And good-bye!
More Food and Some Shades
As the teething marathon continues (five tooths each now–three on bottom, two BIG ones on top), we have introduced the famed Zwieback Toast.
Delish. The toast is mostly yummy and crumbs get everywhere, including in the folds of the washcloth-evasive triple chins.
To wash down the toast (which could really use some jam) sippy cups have made their appearance and make for good chew toys. They also act as water sprinklers for the dog and dying household plants.
When we’re finished chowing down for the afternoon we are going on marathon walks. It’s been particularly sunny (and increasingly warmer) here. So, we have to don our shades.
Have your peeps call my peeps and we’ll chat.
Laughing so hard your cheeks hurt…
One of my favorite parts of being a new mom is that I am now….
THE FUNNIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD!
I’M HILARIOUS! So cute.
Aunt Morgana is pretty funny, too.
Pork Chops and Applesauce…
Staying true to the Bailey tradition, the girls love to eat. We’ve made the slow progression to “solids” over the last few months and both Nora and Tessa are eating like champs.
I meant solid food, not solid objects!
This month we got the green light from the pediatrician to start on solids at every meal. Their favorite food is carrots. They aren’t so found of bananas and applesauce–but we’re sure they’ll come around. While feedings now take longer and are more involved and MESSY, it is a joy to watch the girls explore this new world of food.
At first we fed the girls in their bebe pods (i.e., the greatest baby invention–ever!). This worked out well because they could sit up and eat and it left our hands free to spoon food and not worry about them tipping over.
We’ve recently moved to the high chair for feedings. At first the girls seemed dwarfed by the massive chair.
But, now they’re growing into their chairs (and soon they’ll be growing out of them–like everything else).
Of all the yummy food they’ve begun to explore, Nora and Tessa love it the most when they get their delicious bottles. Especially when the bottles come with a slice of love from their grandparents.
