Yes.  We are still here.  This blog is still alive.  It has just been crazy. Too crazy.  And the thoughts and the memories slip away and things change before I can post them…So, let’s get back on track. 

The girls turned 18-months-old on Valentine’s Day.  I love that.  It just seems so fitting that the two people who have their arms wrapped tightly around my heart have a 1/2 birthday on V-Day.  They are so sweet.

Right around Valentine’s Day we had a LOT of people asking us how many words they say.  As if I have the time (or the thought) to sit down and COUNT their vocabulary.  So, I started counting and here’s what we came up with as of 18 months.  And, in full disclosure, the girls have always seemed to progress through milestones at the same time or within a week or so apart.  Variances are otherwise noted herein (god–do I sound like a lawyer or what?).

I divided their vocabulary into three categories: words they can actually say, signs that they can make and animal noises (or object sounds).  I’m sure I missed some, but here’s the bulk in no particular order:

WORDS THEY CAN SAY:

Toe (this is their favorite song thanks to Cassie and Mackenzie!), Snow (they scream with enthusiam as it falls and falls and falls out our window), No (no comment) , Yes (mostly nodding, but they do say it when prompted), Nora (Both girls can say “Nora”, although Tessa has it down to an art-form.  Tess says, “Nora” ALL THE TIME.  She clearly knows that it’s her sister’s name, but she also uses it arbitrarily in other contexts.  It’s odd.  Nora can also say her name, but she calls herself, “Nor Nor”.   I think that’s adorable…)

Tessa (Again, both girls can say this although sometimes it sounds like “Da Da”, so you have to pay attention.  For awhile it sounded like Tessa was calling herself “NoraTet-Ta”, but I think I figured it out.  It’s goes like this:

Me: Tessa, what’s her name? [pointing at Nora]

Tessa: Norrr-A.

Me: Good.  What’s YOUR name? [pointing at Tessa]

Tessa: NoraTeta.

Me: No, you’re Tessa.

Tessa: No-you’re-Teta.

Get it?  NoraTeta and No-you’re-Teta.  I thought she was confused that her name was Nora also so I kept correcting her telling her “no, you’re Tessa,” so she’d repeat me saying “No-you’re Tessa”.  Oh geez.)…Now she just says “Tet-Ta”.

Shoes (sounds like “chews”), Barbara, Da-da, Ma-ma (although it’s usually in triplicate “Ma Ma Ma”)…

 

Baby (OBSESSED WITH THE BABIES LATELY), Elmo (with variations of Mo and Melmo), Big Bird (although they can only say Elmo and Big Bird, the can identify every single Sesame Street character by pointing.  We have these old books that have all the old characters and they know and LOVE all of them), Down, More, Oranges (Tessa only once said this, and she totally over enunciated it–which was hilarious), Ball, Pa (for paci), Go (they repeat this a million times when Grammy comes over because they think they get to “go” somewhere with Grammy), Bye bye, Balloon (although it sounds more like “Baoon”), Cracker (with a “gra-crack-car” being a variation on graham cracker), Pa Pa (for Papi Jerry), Cheese (for the food and the smile)…

 

Go dog go (their all-time favorite book thanks to Alex and Jacob), Zebra (Tessa only), Nite nite (mostly Nora), Coat (with a silent “t” for coat),  Water (really, wa-wa)…

 

 Dora (Tessa says this clearly and distinctly from “Nora”, and I think Nora calls her more like “Doe”).

SOUNDS THEY CAN MAKE:

Cat (all time favorite animal), Dog, Duck, Cow, Sheep, Snake, Rooster (this one is hilarious “ca-ca-doogle-do”), Witch (they’ve got a cackle down), Horse…

 

Bear/tiger, Fish face (fishes make faces, not sounds, sillies!), Elephant (we got a hand gesture down for the nose on this, too)…

 

 Owl, Frog (we do a side-to-side tongue thing, not “ribbit” because that’s what our books says), Monkey (with arm-pit scratching effects), Cookie monster (we can put away cookies like that dude), Seal (arf! arf!), Car, Burr (cold), Airplane (with sign), Microwave (boop boop boop boop boop! as they play on their toy microwave in their toy kitchen–also a variation on elevator buttons–I desperately wish I had a picture of them playing with their microwave).

SIGNS WE CAN MAKE:

Milk, Eat, Cookie (we get a little sound with this, “cuk”, but not really a word), All done (we do say “ah dun” with this), Dirty (so cute), More (ok, we say this CLEARLY, but it is a prominent sign), Diaper, Bath (Nora says “Ba” with this), Bed (Nora now says “nite nite”), Hug, Baby (we can say this, but we furiously sign for it, too), Sick, Help, Airplane, Book, Cold, Car, Please (we can say “peas”), Thank you, Clap (for good job), Brushing teeth, Wipe-nose (we scrunch up our nose and blow)…

Share (I made this sign up because we need a sign for it).

So, it was a pretty good vocabulary of words/signs/sounds for 18 months… 

But since February 14th, we’ve really seen an explosion of annunciations of new words.  They can repeat a lot of words when asked.  New words that they’ve never said before.  More than I can list.  Some require prompting, some are spontaneous.  It’s incredible to see them on the verge of something new, something exciting, something liberating.  I was really pleased with the signs that they knew before they were verbal.  I remember seeing the relief in Tessa’s face when she signed “milk” the first time and I handed her the cup of milk.  It was this expression of “Oh, lady, you totally know what I want.  Eureka!”  The animal sounds starting coming along and I would just make their sounds into sentences.  Nora would “meow” and I’d say, “Do you see a kitty-cat?  Kitty-cats say ‘meow.’ ” And then the words started to flow.

It’s fun.  And I’m so proud of them.  The next ride is about to begin… 

I’ve had a lot on my mind lately.  I’ve been overwhelmingly busy at work.  The holidays, and all of the parties and food and stuff, seem to be upon me before I realize it.  I have not had much time to write, and, therefore, it all just starts getting crammed in my head and I need it out.  I need a break, a vacation.  I try to rest, but I always seem to have something pulling at me.  And so this weekend I sat down to make a list.

The other day I came upon an old list.  A really old list.  A list of stuff to do, things to buy, stuff to clean and organize.  I love lists.  Chad–not so big on the lists, but he understands my need to list.  It is the genesis of organization for me.  If I have a list, I know what needs to get done and then I can cross stuff off my list when its done.  It feels good. 

Just after having the girls, I remember writing a friend, a fellow mother of twins about how hard everyday was.  Those first few months are tough.  The three hour patterns of feedings, diaper changes, crying, rocking and trying to get some rest before starting it all over again and again–it starts to take a toll and it’s hard to do much in between for yourself or the house, much less think about anything outside of the four walls of your home.  And so I mentioned to my friend how hard it was.  And she said, it’s not that the work is hard, so much as it is constant.  She was right.  It is the constant-ness that makes it so exhausting.  It’s the same stuff over and over and over again.  Every day. Every week.  Every month.   It’s the laundry, the food, the clean-up, the naps, the tears, the games, the challenges.  Winter brings its own set of obstacles with the snow, the icy roads, the cold and the feeling of the inability to escape the constant work that needs to get done.  And then for me to work full time–work hard–on top of all this.  It’s a lot. 

Then, the other night Chad and I went to see a movie.  A break from the kids, from the holidays, from the rush.  The previews forecasted a new movie called The Bucket List.  The idea is that these two old guys are late into their life and they make a list of the things they want to do before they kick the “bucket”, thus–the Bucket List.  Love this idea.  Chad and I haven’t really had the chance to travel in the past few years since we moved here from Chicago, got pregnant, took another bar exam, had to work, had two babies, am raising two babies…so I thought it’d be fun to make a list of the things we still want to do as the girls get older, as we get more comfortable with our resources.  I mentioned this to Chad on the way home and he said, “We can do that, but I’ve already done everything I want to do on my ‘list’.  I married you.  We had the girls.  I’m set.”

As I look into the long stretch of 2008, I start to think of the things that need to go on a list, things that go beyond the everyday chores that need to get done.  And I get overwhelmed.  Because I am tired.  And when I come across an old list, a list that has been completed long ago, I think of all the energy that went into completing the tasks on that list and how the things on that list don’t matter to me anymore.  And I look at my new list and think, does this stuff matter?  Do I care enough to devote the little energy I have on the couple of days that I have off from work to do these things amongst taking care of the girls, and the feedings and washing and cleaning and holiday stuff?  What I like about lists is the organization it gives me–the tasks are concrete and achievable, and the satisfaction of crossing it off.  But when my list is constant, bottomless, perpetual, the list does not serve its purpose for me.  And when I see an old, useless list, I begin to realize that I need to remove myself from these burdensome feelings.  I need to break free of the lists. 

I think about Chad’s “bucket list”.  About its blankness, it’s freeness.  The void of Chad’s list is the very satisfaction in itself.  It does not need to exist because it is complete.

So, as I think about 2008 I try to imagine the feeling completeness, of satisfaction, of a life without lists.  And I resolve to embrace that feeling.  To give thanks for what I have.  To take some satisfaction in winging it and letting some things go.  To relax.  To enjoy.  To give thanks for all of the help and good health that we have. 

And while I cannot let go of my lists, I can make them shorter; I can prioritize what needs to be on that list and what doesn’t matter–what won’t matter–so I can focus my energies on the things that matter the most right now.

Happy New Year.